​Parts Work Therapy: A Path Back to Your True Self

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​What is Parts Work?

Parts Work

We all have different “parts” inside us: younger versions of ourselves, protective voices, inner critics. Each was born in the moments we faced pain too big to handle. In those moments, our minds did something brilliant... they tucked the feelings away, off to the side, so the rest of us could keep going.

Sometimes those tucked-away parts don’t stay quiet. Instead, they take over. One part of you longs to move forward, while another slams on the brakes so hard you can’t breathe. One voice says, “Go for it,” and another screams, “If you do, we’ll die.” It can feel like you’re trapped inside a war zone... terrified, exhausted, and wondering why you can’t just “get it together.”

Parts Work (officially called 'Internal Family Systems') is a way to meet these parts with compassion, to understand how they were only trying to protect you - but you misunderstood all these years. When your parts are seen for what they are, when you can accept them and understand... they begin to relax. When that happens, the conflict quiets down. Triggers don't feel so big. You finally get to be in charge of your own life again.​​

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Learn More about PTSD

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What Are These Parts Like?

​I like to visualize our "parts" as unique personalities, living in their own separate, little bubble-worlds inside our minds. Each contains its own unique set of feelings, ideas, and beliefs about the way the world works.

You may hear your mind chattering away all day. WE ALL DO THIS.  Sometimes the chatter is positive: "You did a great job writing that letter to your boss!"  Sometimes the chatter is negative, "You're such an idiot. People can see you're a faker. Nobody else looks like a fool but you."  The parts often argue with each other, vying to get heard, and fighting to be RIGHT. This internal argument can cause feelings of confusion, and even hopelessness, like there simply is no answer to our pain. 
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The fact is - there are NO RIGHT OR WRONG PARTS.  There are no BAD or SHAMEFUL PARTS. All of your parts are simply trying to help you cope.

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​The Movie: INSIDE OUT

​You may have seen the animated movies INSIDE OUT and INSIDE OUT 2.  Those movies were actually BASED on Internal Family Systems.  The lead character, Riley, didn't just have feelings - she had what presented like little PEOPLE inside her, with their own characteristics, belief systems, and attitudes. The people were parts of herself. They weren't multiple personalities; they were the natural voices that we ALL have in our minds. 

Our parts speak to us even when we don't want them to. They're always awake and giving their opinions.  THE REAL PROBLEM comes when these parts get TOO hurt or scared at a time when we're not able to handle it all.  That's when the brain cleverly files them away in the basement.  It does this as a protection so we can go on functioning.

Even though disowned parts may cause us to feel uncomfortable, in reality, each part BELIEVES it is helping.

The struggle is that these parts cause problems for us in the present.  Issues arise in the form of unwanted behaviors, stories that loop in the mind, intrusive thoughts, self-sabotage, and unresolvable pain. 
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The Magic of Parts Work 

When we get quiet and still (hypnosis or meditation), we become able to access the files in the basement where the overwhelm lives.  We're able to access the parts that are protecting that overwhelm.  When a part finally feels seen and understood, something inside begins to shift. When we meet it with compassion instead of judgment, the defenses start to loosen. Those old thoughts that used to hijack you lose their grip. Your priorities change. Life opens up with more authenticity, more curiosity, more ease.

When your parts are no longer disowned, they feel they are seen and heard.  Then they don't have to protect the old burdens.  You feel lighter. More whole. More like yourself.
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IFS Isn’t Just a Tool I Use - It’s Personal for Me

For most of my life, I carried pain that nothing seemed to touch. I searched everywhere for something that could help: books, therapies, workshops, spirituality, healing modalities of every kind. Some gave me real insight and relief - for a while - but nothing ever reached the deepest places where the hurt lived.
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Then I found Parts Work. For the first time, I felt something shift... and it wasn’t temporary. This work helped me meet the parts of myself that were terrified, angry, and wounded.  I learned not to push my parts away, but to actually hear them, and care for them by understanding them in ways I never had before.  I learned to give myself what I'd been needing all along.

Internal Family Systems saved me. It showed me that healing doesn’t have to take decades of circling the same pain.  I learned that pain that feels permanent... isn’t.  It can move and it can heal.

This is why I use it so often in my practice. Because I know what the process feels like - from beginning to end.  I KNOW that the inner war can end.​

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