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4 Steps to Self-Forgiveness by Paige Bartholomew |
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Forgiving yourself can be a tough one because the person who feels angry, and the person you're angry with is the same person - YOU! We get stuck in self-judgment. We can't let ourselves off the hook. Maybe we betrayed our own integrity. Maybe we betrayed someone we love. We think we are bad and we don't know how to get over it.
Steps to Self-forgiveness: 1) See your own innocence. Close your eyes and imagine your childhood self. See how innocent that child is? If she did do something wrong - she didn't do it on purpose! Her intentions were pure. She is beautiful. Sweet. Lovable. In your higher self, take her in your arms and hug her. Give her some of the love she never had. Drink it in for a while. 2) Understand and Accept. Close your eyes and imagine the you who did something you're not proud of. From your higher self, look upon that unforgivable person. Ask yourself, "What motivated the unsavory behavior? Did it come out of a deep wound? Did it come out of loneliness? Depression? Despair? What would have made me behave in this way?" There is ALWAYS an adaptive reason we do what we do. When we behave badly,
it is ALWAYS originating from a place of inner confusion, hurt, or despair.. There are no "bad parts" of us. Only hurt parts. |
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3) Love yourself. Free yourself. Open your heart. Close your eyes and see the "bad or hurt" part of yourself and hug her. Imagine love pouring out of your heart and showering her with it. You may imagine that she resists it. That's ok - shower love. Say, "You made a mistake, but I know that you are good in your core. The mistake can be repaired. Love will show you how to make repairs with those whom you have wronged. I give you the gift now of release. You may start anew here." Let the love wash you. If you stay with it, it will change these places. When the work is finished, you'll feel shifts happening right before your inner eyes. Feel the pressure lift.
Do this every day until you can see yourself differently.
4) Clean Things Up With Others. If it's possible, repair the damage with people you have hurt. Make amends. That's all that's required. If you are sincere, they will know, and you will know. Constant and repeated repentance is not necessary.
You've heard it before - you're human. You make mistakes like everyone else. The TRUTH is - there is no mistake you could make in all the world that would make you un-lovable. There is no action, word or thought that is un-forgivable.
Spiritual growth means we must do the deep work of self-forgiveness. Until this work is complete, we'll have trouble moving on into healthy relationships with others. The Universe doesn't make mistakes. Every moment is a brilliant opportunity for spiritual evolution. Self love is the beginning.
© Paige Bartholomew, 2024
Paige Bartholomew specializes in "Parts Work" (or Internal Family Systems). As a licensed therapist in Texas, she can help you with all the parts inside you with voices that argue and hurt, and the stories that loop over and over again.
FREE Guided Hypnosis with Paige CLICK HERE